F-16 Fixers, Fishy Fishers, Funny Failures

a mist settles over the city. condensation rises as the city comes alive and begins to hum again in rhythm with the sun. lonely wanderers ramble through the quiet streets searching for anything to fill a void, distract from the internal or kill time. 24 hour everything - coffee, ramen, burger, sex, eels, beer, movies, comics, music, dancing, whatever you could possibly need or want.

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2 weeks ago, ventured into the metropolis for a combination of drifting, grifting and mingling. Lucky enough on previous visits to make some contacts and manage to find my way into a small network of djs. I am not a dj but i enjoy using the equipment, even if it is poorly. Regardless, i arrived and walked around the city on a sunny, not yet warm city. quite the contrast from the below zero winter wonderland i set out from aboard a bus filled with tourists. Very few of these folks had a return ticket i am willing to bet. Disembark the bus and begin the 24hr ramble. First step is to get ones bearings and judge the walking distances between the various rendezvous points - one in the north, 2 in the south at inoppurtune times of course. Walk from the north toward the south and begin canvassing anything with irish in the title - inevitably irish bars. Enjoy the walk in the sun, pale skin drinking in the vitamin d or whatever radiation the sun pumps out. Wander through small back alleys and meander down toward the first stop. Walk into a small basement bar and enjoy the first guinness while watching liverpool-everton for about 5 minutes before a hooded figure in the corner emerges from the shadows with the classic 'did i see you in vietnam a few weeks ago sir'. An American of course. We initiate the beginnings of what turns into a fascinating discussion. where are you from, whats your name, what are you doing here and why. The hood of course is to avoid any and all recognition from other regulars who might wander in. But an interesting fellow, resourceful and a good sense of humour. Apparently never visited japan in his entire life but decided to escape the america and bought a house, sight unseen at the age of 25. having procured a house he procured a visa and a plane ticket and within a very short amount of time apparently a wife. having exchanged the particulars of why here of all places he began to share his strategy of life which is a real doozy as they say - he works 4/5 months on a fishing boat flat out and earns enough money for the rest of the year to live a nice life in japan. Fascinating arbitrage of the standards of living in different places. He claimed that if you got on the right boat, with the right crew going to the right place you could potentially work one month and make enough to live for the next 11 months. Obviously there is a lot more risk involved in such a trip and you work 24/7 with the strong possibility of losing crew members, so he doesn't see the value in undertaking such a risk, but still the temptation is there. This is genuinely one of the funniest characters ive met in a long time and we stayed for two pints. He had visited dublin of course and has some irish ancestry of some description so 'we had a craic' in his words. He was even wearing his fishing jacket in the bar claiming it works in all weather, interesting chap. Move on from this basement and begin the next journey north toward the first arranged meetup.

While walking, begin to realise i will arrive extremely early, with no plan and no real place to go. And then just as the realisation dawns, another irish establishment arises in the distance, almost summoned. Venture inside and pull up a stool at the tight bar between some austrian construction workers who are chain smoking amber leaf and some larger japanese folk who are enjoying a wide variety of snackies. squeeze in awkwardly and settle for a pint of the establishments finest lager. enjoy the entertainment on offer - ladies skiing championship blaring from a 50inch screen hanging ominously at the top of room. The locals soon leave allowing me to shoft down a seat and stretch the legs trying to figure out the point of a skiing championship, i imagine there are whole teams of people and sponsorship deals involved with getting such an event together but surely not that many people watching to bring in the revenue. Lots of wealthy folk involved though surely. The mundane musings are interrupted by the arrival of a new gentleman who posts up at the end of the bar in the next seat. he orders a guinness and begins doomscrolling the phone before turning to me and initiating yet another fascinating conversation. again the usual pleasantries until he mentions he works for the us military. naturally i have to find out what the hell is going on there - f-16 fighter mechanic. incredible altogether. he describes an unsettled background and the military being a mystery ticket out of said background. and so he finds himself in northern japan, fixing some of the most expensive hardware on the planet. when asked what its like - 'its just a job, ill do my five years and get out, they give me free education so im good', when asked about the jets - 'theyre a real pain in the ass' followed by details of said pains. We discuss the recent events on that side of the pond and the overwhelming sentiment as he sees it is that everyone is relieved that there's a dickhead in charge with a strong posture. overarching sentiment seems to be that there will be no escalation on their part, which you have to suppose is good for everyone. interestingly enough he describes the work environment as being like any other and even the pilots etc as just being normal enough folk from normal enough backgrounds. it is miserable to think that these are the people who usually get chewed up at the behest of others in situations of conflict. he described a role one of his friends was assigned which was essentially a secondary drone operator. this person basically waits for the drones to finish their strike run or whatever its called and then this dude has to come in and surveil the ground, identifying body parts and confirming that the targets have been dealt with. they also have to account for the number of collateral victims by counting body parts. insane. conclude the chat with this second geezer then mosy on through the dusk to the initial destination, passing through a much more upmarket part of the city i would say. massive skyscrapers, people in suits, quiet pavilions and somewhat gentrified spaces designed for professionals. Along the way take some time at a bridge to have a little peer along the river - the buildings on either side really tower over the water illuminating it with that yellow city glow. reminds one of other cities with fond memories. carry on and stop for some eating. carry on again and meet the person in question - a friend i had cancelled on twice already on previous occasions including the ski trip mentioned previously :p. we have a bit of wine and cake, a stroll and a rather unstimulating chat, considering the previous two. pretend to know about wine, discuss their job which is wine adjacent, then part ways. now for another hour walk back to where i started - of course the rains begin now, seeping through the weathered northface jacket and giving the body some not unwelcome damp. pelt it down through the city and find the true reason for coming in the first place.

a strange, neon lit bar - no bigger than the current living situation - with a lovely set of xdjs and a big fuck off speaker system at the top. make the introductions and stay for a chat and a quick ten minutes on the equipment. great fun and a great set up for the following weeks misadventures. considerably well lubricated at this point and now really at a loss with what to do, no further objectives to be completed. bail into a later night type of bar with some lovely couches and cheap amenities. enjoy watching groups of people come and go at the pool tables - which are free - and what im assuming were some el classico basketball games on the tv (fairly sure michael jordan is not still playing and he was heavily featured). this gets me to roughly 5am (i forgot to book accommodation). share the exiting procedure with a couple of university students from kyoto and ivory coast. next stop - wherever is still open. unfortunately some dingy nightclub, open until 7am, that will do. take a stroll around a bit accidentally entering the vip section which i can only describe as some sort of stripper section. barter a place at the couch with a pack of seven stars and strike up conversation with a couple of local lads who inform me that it is 'dancers' not 'strippers' though their outfits and the poles would suggest otherwise. one of them speaks excellent english and learn he was unceremoniously shipped off to Birmingham of all places at the age of 13 for boarding school. god bless the chap. go down to bar and blag my way through the now present security at the entrance (sightings of a roaming foreigner surely drew them in) with vague claims of friends only to find the couches deserted, fled, abandoned - along with the nearly full pack of seven stars. promptly removed from the vip section and thrown unceremoniously back into the disgusting pig pen with the rest of the peasants and paupers. observe the going ons, with apathy, waiting for the time to leave. upon closing reemerge into the now breaking dawn. still 1.5 hour to wander aimlessly until the chariot back to reality. spend this time observing the many many folks departing for work or returning from a night of debauchery. the place really is always alive. aboard the highway bus and conk out, magically appear in the home base and commence a several hour long recorded discussion with an uncle about the state of the world and youtube - soon to be released, a fun piece of content we will call 'the ramble' or 'the rant' perhaps. Roughly a 30 hour turnaround all in all.

Grind through a week of all work and no play. Find out during this span that the buses for the next sortie have been arbitrarily cancelled leaving the author in a state of disgruntlement. Fine to adjust that late in the game but not without dire consequences for the wallet. regardless, board the train and set off 12 hours earlier than expected. once again no accommodation, just a pair of feet. interesting scene as we roll toward nagoya, the first stop, a massive plain at the feet of the mountains and across this flat plain in the distance the looming skyscrapers of the urban centre. it must be such a strange sensation for the people living at the edge of this plan, situated beside a rail track, surrounded by rice paddies and all the ornaments of an agrarian existence and yet within very clear view just across the plain one of the most urbanised environments humans have ever created. such a fascinating contrast, emblematic of the whole country or even the world maybe, the legacy of the old ways facing the ever present draw of urbanity, development, the inevitable evidence of progress. disembark at nagoya and switch to the shinkansen, which is an absolute monster of a train, 13 carriages, each 25 meters long, you do the math. Can travel up to 400kmh. 140 odd kilometres to get from nagoya to osaka, 50 minutes roughly, feels like youre literally flying when you look out. smooth ride as well, easy going. regardless reach osaka around 10/11, grab the subway to the city centre and have to kill about 14 hours before its acceptable to rock up at the objective. absolute shambles of planning, no doubt. copy paste the gameplan from the previous weekend and do some light drifting from bar to bar, club to club, no seriously interesting conversations, few spaniards, australians, argentinians just a lot of meaningless small talk and time wasting. interesting moment in a completely empty turkish bar doing some google translate conversing with the bartenders and playing a few songs back and forth, bizarre situation. few blank spots after here won't lie but inevitably find the earliest possible place to eat, some god awful burger restaurant open at 6am for some reason. next bit of drifting from cafe to cafe consuming copious amounts of caffeine in some vain attempt to present as roughly human before interacting with people again. after a power nap in a cubicle in some cafe somewhere go for a lovely early lunch - eel and rice, surely the least appetising meal a human can stomach on 3 hours of sleep (later to find out they have short stay hotels for cash, which seemed to have gone over my head altogether), begin to amble towards the objective location. observe some construction workers operating at insane efficiency on a sunny saturday morning along the way. literally hooking and heaving bits of scaffold off a ten storey building to a lad below who catches, unhooks, stacks and goes for the next one. rapid. ambling along and hear some promising tunes from a basement along the way, do a quick uturn and descend to find a nigerian bar, filled to the brim at 12 midday. talking away with the bartender, kenyan, another english teacher, discussing the plans for the day when the owner pulls up a stool next to me and we are chatting away when he challenges me to an innocent game of connect 4, which i have not played since i was about 8. we start betting and i find myself getting defeated repeatedly. every game ends with a shot of whiskey and the request for a bet on the next game, which i oblige for the experience. find oneself down about 2000 yen and up about 4 shots of whiskey and a beer which is a decent exchange rate. great craic, a lot of strange energy in the bar as everyone seems to be well acquainted with each other and i seem to be walking into the middle of a nigerian version of eastenders or something - everyone owes each other money or is talking to the wrong woman or something but regardless they all welcome the bedraggled foreigner. bar owner had lived in japan for 20 years or something insane, not very clear how he got there but an interesting fellow. the only time i thought i had won connect 4 it was because he allowed me to play a move after he had already won which i had not noticed, what can you do, laughs for all involved.

turn up at a reasonable time to the objective and myself and the owner mess around with the equipment for a couple of hours before the event starts properly, first man up goes real heavy which was brilliant. from brazil i think. my turn did not go so well, some classic rusty clanging but still excellent to use the nice equipment for an hour, despite the sleep deprivation, whiskey and audible pain inflicted upon all within hearing distance. all the staff are very polite etc but there is no denying it was a dogs dinner and a little bit embarrassing. next person did a lot better which of course makes one competitive and jealous but the devils soon depart with a bit of resigned, shoulder shrugging acceptance. it is quite funny to turn up having not practiced for 7/8 months, not played live in nearly a year and then just bomb and apologise after wasting an hour of peoples live and goodwill. finish up and who turns up only the bartender from a couple of hours earlier, who turns out to be the best character in the whole saga, genuinely hilarious and naturally click. spend the rest of the afternoon and evening here basically having a nice time of it, cans, chat and tobacco. leave this trippy little sojourn and venture towards ones accommodation with a sayonara to the latest friend. check in with extreme diffculty, card keys dont work, recruit help from a kindly chinese lady who figured out the system of lockboxes, lockers and keys some hours earlier. apparently there to do a japanese language test. anyway bail in to the room and attempt to get online in time for some online english tutoring. wait for about ten minutes but no student turns up, what can you do. take a shower and venture forth into the night. walk past the dingy club from a week previous and decide to get the free drinks with entry. much more amenable at an earlier time and do a bit of back and forthing with some aussies, who are always a fun lot. melbourne natives on tour, pale as fuck (pot calling kettle) not making use of the bountiful sun in their homeland clearly. odd bunch but good craic. music tripe. mingle as much possible with the locals who enjoy the novelty of a non-australian tourist. get word of an apparent mega nightclub from them and decide to follow on. upon exit, immediately accosted by a pair of austrians. another odd pair but we have a good conversation and manage to recruit them to join for the walk down (their literal words ' well this could be interesting') to the next place and do some wandering dialogue (trialogue?) across a whole range of topics, surprisingly broad for a 10 minute walk. depart and enter this supposed mecca - just a sweaty room with about an 80/20 ratio. try integrate with the locals and we do a full tobacco trading/sampling agreement in the back quarter, which was entertaining open boxes, bartering stronger for lighter etc. Leave this depraved basement and head for home.

Awake rudely to the sound of the alarm on its 15th cycle and some concerned knocking on the door indicating i have long missed checkout :D Do the apologies and head for the hills (literally). Begin the 2 hour walk toward the trains, soaking in the sun before returning to the icy valley. crossing the bridge toward the train beside a rather large road, take a look back on the skyscrapers and find myself actually liking the city a lot more then when i first went. once you get the run of the place and get past the mentalness of it, it is a fun hive of life. Board the train and head for nagoya - again amazed by the sheer power of the rapid nature of the transit. accidentally stamp myself into the platform without checking the times for the next train. realise you cannot leave the platforms now and get back in again without buying another ticket. oops. endure the hour wait observing the trains and the transitors. so many people passing through the station and trains coming and going the whole time. some interesting folks at the ends of the platform videoing the proceedings as trains come and go. the station reminds one of some sort of organ and all the people little cells or nutrients passing through the functional machine to get to their little area of the organism. eventually board the train as the sun is setting and dusk is drawing in, pleasantly surprised to get a pair of seats unoccupied. soon disturbed by a young man who politely asks to sit next to me followed by a request for a selfie at the behest of his mother who is 'worried and does not want him to be kidnapped', which i thought was hilarious(mother i am sitting next to a strange foreign creature and it smells/oh gosh, get his face on file lest the worst occur) but very indicative of the love and cooperation humans have. it did cross my mind to say hell no and see what the reaction would be but best not to experiment in such situations. Regardless he soon leaves with a thank you, a bow and a wave and the train rolls on past the neon lit skyscrapers of nagoya and gifu and into the murky darkness of the hilly heartlands. the comfy double seat lulls one into a dozy slumber. disembarking the train, stepping out into the -10, icy snow and wind, the stark contrast slaps one in the face. from a tropical, sunny 10 accept a 20 degree temperature change. the walk home is an indication that perhaps a new jacket is needed for whatever winter conditions one finds oneself in next. bed at 22.

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there are many things one could say but it is clear we are all part of a much larger collective than any one nation/state/idea/community - they all seem to have been developed in the hopes of providing the next generations with a better life, in that we are all one. cultures and systems, social and biological all evolved to generate stability and structure so that the next wave can go out and have it better than the last. maybe it's obvious but apparently not. there is nothing in this world more important than each other, regardless of which side of an imaginary border we come from or which language we communicate in or which god(s) we believe or don't believe in. we all rely on each other. we all make mistakes. we all hurt each other and we all love each other. we all create and we all destroy. we all make this thing work together and we all play an important role in it one way or another.